Mohican's Finest Hours
by Eric Hoffmann
Summary: Mohican Airways suffers disaster after Frank is fired by the CEO. This takes place from the end of Season 1, and before Season 2. F Is For Family (C) 2015 Netflix/Bill Burr
1. You blew it, Frank!

The crowd chanted "Murphy! Murphy! Murphy!" as Roger Dunbarton, the CEO of Mohican Airways, happily and triumphly signed the deal to save Mohican Airways. Roger Dunbarton, called up his limo, and jumped in. "Pogo!" he called. Bob Pogo drove on his cart to the limo, and while struggling, squeezed into the door. They both sat back and relaxed, waiting for the rest of their men to leave the scene. When the coast was clear, Dunbarton spoke. "We're a family. Heh!" he sarcastically said. He then complained, "The shit that came out of his mouth was like an arrow shot into my chest! Now I'm bleeding like crazy from pulling the arrow out known as Frank's little sad speech!" mocking the pen as an arrow. Bob Pogo gasped, "You mean he's a traitor?" he asked. "You should've thought twice about promoting sappy little jerk offs like him! That waste of semen is fired! But don't worry about trying to find another manager. I have one that could easily skewer their happy go lucky win and keep them in line, like a Mohican Indian and his knife!" Explained Dunbarton. Pogo, not knowing of the consequences, went with what he said. "Well that saves me the trouble of having to look for someone else. A man who could have such terrifying power. I could vision the assault he led on those goddamn baggage donkies, and maybe even take care of nabbing the cigarettes and lighters!" Pogo said.

Frank, looking for his car, was stopped by Bob Pogo. "Dunbarton would like a word with you." Pogo said. Frank went up to Dunbarton's limo. "Frank, no one's talked to me like that in 30 years." Dunbarton said. "Just spoke from the heart." Frank explained. Dunbarton wished him a Merry Christmas. He signaled to Pogo, and Pogo nodded. "Congratulations, Frank! Your little sermon saved the airline." Pogo said. "Thanks Bob, tell Mr. Dunbarton if there's anything he needs I'll do it!" Frank happily responded. Pogo said "Well... there is one thing." and Frank said to name it. "He needs you to clean out your office." Said Pogo. Frank gasped and said "What?!" "You're done, Frank." Pogo explained. Frank questioned him firing him on Christmas. Bob Pogo explained "No no, he's firing you on Christmas Eve. That way you can watch your kids open the presents you CAN'T afford! You blew it, Frank! You insulted Dunbarton!" "All I did was appeal to his humanity." Said Frank. "Exactly." Pogo responded. "Bob, I've got a family to feed! What am I gonna do?!" Frank questioned. "Not my problem, you fucking traitor! It was a mistake to promote you anyway. You WEREN'T fit for management. Happy Holidays!" Pogo exclaimed. Frank, in boiling anger, turned the car off. "Frank, what are you doing? We're done here!" Pogo said. "You are, but I'm not. Not fit for management? I've been carrying you for 3 months, I just saved the airline, saved your goddamn job which appears to be nothing but eating, and you stood by while I got fired?! Well fuck you, fuck Dunbarton, and FUCK YOU, YOU MISERABLE LIVING TUB OF LIVING SHIT!" Frank screamed at him. He showed him the keys. "Hey you want these? You want your keys" He questioned. Bob told him not to throw them. "Ah I wouldn't do that to you Bobby. They're at your feet! Merry Christmas, Bob!" Said Frank as he dropped the keys and trapped him in the car. Bob tried to reach for the keys, but kept hitting his horn. "You fucker! You FUCKER! You're not human! You can't leave me here, I'll die!"


	2. The Worst Christmas

Christmas Day, 1973. Roughly 25-35 degrees outside in Rustvale. The fires of war were all over in Frank's mind. "Fuckin' Dunbarton! Fuckin' Pogo!" Ranted Frank as he downed can after can of White House beer and watches Colt Lugar's Christmas episode. He began to scream in anger and fury at his suffering, pain, and humiliation, that had one word. Unemployment.

Meanwhile, back at Mohican Airways, the airport was closed for Christmas Day. Bob Pogo, hungry, thirsty, putrid, cold, and tired, had been trying all day to get to his keys. His fingers were starting to feel very numb, and it wasn't his condition that was causing it. Dolores, his wife, had been afraid all night. His sons had been unhappy. They didn't get what they wanted for Christmas: their father. Some time later, Dolores had waited long enough. She dialed 911. "Hello 911 emergency. My husband has been gone since last night. He was at the airport last time I saw him on TV. Please, find him." she said. The operator paged the Rustvale Fire Department. Around 11 AM, another call came in. It was the fire marshall. "Dolores Pogo, we found him. He's been at the airport the whole time, but now he's stuck in his car. And he smells like shit. We're trying to get him out." the phone said. Dolores grabbed the kids and quickly drove off to the airport. There they saw Pogo's car, covered in brown, horns honking, and him cursing and screaming. "Hang in there, we're getting you out!" said the fire marshall. They chopped the door open with the axe. "For christ's sake you fuckin' animals! Watch where you're choppin' my goddamn fingers are froze as shit!" Bob Pogo whined. With mutiple men, they took the door out, and pulled Bob Pogo and his entire 400+ fatass out of the vehicle! Bob, with very little strength left, gravely injured from the cold, fainted. The firemen helped get Bob back home. "Wake up Bob." Dolores said in a firm voice. "This whole "eat all the fried foods and other trash" fiesta is over. You're going on a crash diet. No exceptions." she scolded. "Suggestion... noted." Bob Pogo said. His fingers were bandaged, and heated.

At the Murphys', Frank continued to drown his sorrows the best way he could: in anger. He spent the rest of Christmas Day in an office, writing down plans to assault Dunbarton. "I'm gonna lay siege to that bitch's house and put him through that fuckin' wall! I fucking hate you Dunbarton! I'm gonna lead an assault on your fuckin' property you piece of shit!" He raged. Sue, his wife, heard all the commotion. "Frank what's... THIS?" she said, holding a picture of Roger Dunbarton's head chopped off and his house burning with a crude drawing of Frank laughing. She also read the list saying "Siege of Dunbarton: Gasoline and matches, burn Dunbarton and his bitch, put them through fuckin' wall." in complete horror. "You're seriously planning to kill Dunbarton? Why? I thought you helped him!" she exclaimed. Frank said "Dunbarton, being the bitch he is fired me Christmas Eve because I "insulted" his poor sorry-ass face! So I'm gonna teach him who's boss, man to man! Frank's army is going to be me! Just me, no one else!" Sue gasped in horror. She couldn't believe that Roger Dunbarton, the man who agreed to sign the contract last night, had betrayed Frank. "Pogo will realize what Dunbarton's done and-" Sue tried to explain but Frank said "No no no no, Pogo isn't gonna do shit! He's Dunbarton's bitch! He could've intervened. But NOOOOOOOOOOOO, he decided to just shove more of that nasty fried chicken down his throat! I hate him!"


	3. Meet Scoop

December 26th. Boxing Day. Frank and his family went to go see Disney's Robin Hood. Just watching the film made Frank say "See that kids? Prince John's a little bitch! He has to have an entire army do all the work, and have some fat fuck and his losers ruin everyone's lives and they don't get any consequences! That's exactly what Roger Dunbarton is! A coward!" and looked sick toward it. After the film was over, Frank was even more upset, especially driving home, he saw the airport. It looked like it was doing better... without him.

...That's what he though. Bob Pogo broke the news to his men. "Okay you goddamn baggage donkies! We don't have a manager around no more for a while! As in one that doesn't lock his leader in a car for Christmas Day and become a laughing stock! Dunbarton's getting you men a new manager, a manager that will keep you in line and not take any bullshit! He'll get him in here by New Years Day!" he shouted. "You fuckin' fired Frank? What the fuck he do to you?!" Rosie scolded. "But I-" Bob Pogo tried to explain, but the baggage handlers began to threaten him. Bob Pogo fled the scene and escaped to his office, full of pound away drinks and cottage cheese. "When the hell is he going to have that stupid idiot manager here?!" Bob Pogo shouted. Suddenly, Roger Dunbarton came to the scene. "ENOUGH!" He screamed. "This is your NEW manager. Scoop Dunbarton. We're keeping the bloodline. Now you be good to him and he'll be good to you. Is that clear? Because if it isn't, I'll do the same thing I did to Frank Murphy. Got it?! Now get back to work!" Roger Dunbarton left the airport. Afterwards, a brain damaged man came in, known as Scoop Dunbarton. He started off angry, and roared at the poor employees. The disaster began to strike in.


End file.
